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We've been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered many hardships, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she has been constantly caught off guard by others. Her husband ended their marriage, and it was an unexpected event. Many of close acquaintances disappeared then, as they were drawn to the spouse. It shocked her. She put in increased attention toward our bond, likely realised more acutely what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

Throughout this period, several close to her have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, even though she was highly competent, and she left unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each stepped back from work leading to more time together, yet I realize my role between us feels one-sided. I start subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Politically, she has firm beliefs. I try to suggest double-checking information and alternate views.

She is arranging a trip to a nation I've visited repeatedly even called home previously. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was unappreciated. She really only wanted me to confirm her plans. I recently ended 30 days in that place she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she will ever understand the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I am in distancing myself. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to cut and run, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of a solution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens when you talk. It should be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. Next is to tell how this makes you feel. Ideally, there's no dispute here. What you feel are valid, after all. Step three is to question ways you together will alter the dynamics in your relationship."

Consider your friend has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method involves stating your friend:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

This can be impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

Your friend may dismiss all you say, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they maintain a story about themselves they're unable to let go of as it feels essential depends upon it and it represents they've known. This is difficult because there's no easy route with these people, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could at first react this way and then think your perspective. And even if a resolution isn't found an agreement, you'll have peace that you've been open and direct.